Is the future bright? Or is it really a dark maze of sexual predators?

7 Jun

I have worries about the future. Real, serious, sick-to-my-stomach kind of worries. Since becoming a mother I have become incredibly sensitive to news stories about child abuse, neglect and violence. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a bit softy when it comes to those charity adverts for Dogs Trust/Salvation Army/Red Cross etc. I even shed tears at documenatries. March of the Penguins had me bawling like a baby when I was pregnant. I just hate suffering, cruelty and pain. I hate seeing the vulnerable exploited.

Recently news stories such as the Operation Yewtree arrests, blokes from Corrie, Stuart Hall and Ian Watkins from Lost Prophets make me despair.

Rape. Sexual abuse. Assault. Paedophillia.

What the fuck has happened to make men do this to kids and even to babies?

I have no answers. No empathy. No understanding at all. A few years ago we were reassured that paedophilia and child abduction were not on the increase. It was just a matter of increased media reporting. I think that’s bullshit now. People who lean towards the extreme now have access to material that they never would have had before via the Internet.

People who wouldn’t have actually abused a child themselves can now access images of such acts and this drives demand and fuels their interest in the pursuit of even more shocking, depraved pornography. This must’ve led people to paedophilia. The ultimate sexual extreme. The taboo is now commonplace in our media, in parents minds.

Then there’s the murders. The killers of April Jones and Tia Sharp were sentenced in the last month. Both had used the Internet to search for indecent images of kids.

What’s happened to men (I know women are involved too, but its mostly men) to lead them here? Are they so emasculated, so desperate for dominance in any area of their lives that violating children is their outlet? Is it a concrete sexual preference? Not in all cases I don’t think. Yes, there are some paedophiles whose attraction to children is all they know. They know they offend and reoffend because the compulsion, the drive for gratification is too much to resist. But then there’s others. The growing pool of opportunists, the sadists, the predators.

The Internet can not be controlled. The people can not be controlled. What is the solution? How do we tackle this hidden and life destroying situation and prevent it from getting worse? It’s a psychological phenomenon that abused children grow up into abusing adults. And, most children are abused by someone they know. How can they be protected from behind the closed door of the family home?

All I hope is that the media can encourage children to speak up. They must break the abusers spell that it must remain a dirty secret or that its in some way the kid’s fault. The media must give children a voice. The police and social services must act more efficiently to protect children.

The sexualisation of children can’t be helping this issue, or the availability of free pornography online. Young kids are seeing content that they really shouldn’t and this will mould their ideas and expectations about sex, relationships and body image. Gone are the days of finding ragged pages of soft porn in a park. Now it’s all hardcore, huge fake tits and orgies, and its potentially in every kids pocket in their smartphone.

The talks about sex are happening younger and younger now. Questions kids ask are not about where babies come from any more. Questions my mates have been asked by their under 10s include rape, paedophilia, blow jobs and sexual violence. Great.

My daughter is still tiny. The only time she’s away from us is with a wonderful childminder or my mum. For now I feel she is safe. But how will I feel when she wants and deserves independence?

Scared I reckon. No, terrified out of my wrinkly skin. I get worried if my cats are out too long for fucks sake. It’s going to be hard to let her out into the world, but let her out I must.

I don’t want to wrap her in cotton wool, to be overbearing or overprotective. Most of all I don’t want her to be scared of the world at large as I know the chances of her being attacked or abducted are low. But, it happens to Someone’s daughter every day.

I’m hoping my daughter will inherit her father’s enthusiasm and dedication to brutal martial arts. That’ll help.

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One Response to “Is the future bright? Or is it really a dark maze of sexual predators?”

  1. Pascale LeBrasseur June 7, 2013 at 8:08 pm #

    I am worried as well for my daughter… She is a perfect target because of her special needs and it scares me that someone could abuse her. I’ve been teaching her what is appropriate and what isn’t. She likes to wear proper clothing not over exposing any private areas and I hope that our open and trusting relationship is strong enough for her to feel free to tell me anything but I rely on body language and overall attitude to determine when things are not awesome with her. I don’t want to scare her but I need her to understand the dangers and be careful…. It’s a really fine line…..

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